I went to see a doctor today as was experiencing some dizzy spells. Got out of the doc's room with high blood pressure, stress and mild depression. It took me my surprise that these symptoms had not occurred to me in anyway. Not a sign. Msn Brian on this. Was surprised too.
2 phrases have been playing in my mind which came from both the doc and Brian. "Talk to your friends more often" and "Why stress yourself". It hit me kind of hard as I was mentioned this to a taxi driver over the weekend bout the life of a Singaporean. I said out LOUD "Uncle, I feel stress is self inflicted". There you have it. Think just got slap ob the face hard.
I did a self evaluation on my way home from office. I though that all seemed well. I mean yeah most of go thru certain phases in life which I may have brushed aside many times ... way too many times. Suppression to the maximum. A test to my level of patience and endurance. I do agree I am in difficult times on a personal level but I always thought to always have this notion "You screwed it up yourself you solve it" Well I stand by it. Is it wrong? Should I talk to it with my friends? I don't see a need to. Can they help? Well I don't think so. It's my problem not theirs.
Cynicism and harsh realism had gotten me into this state? Or it's "you reap what you sow"?
Doc gave me Lexotan, a relaxant, to make me sleep well. It's been 2 hours I don't even feel the effect. Screw it .... maybe I am getting screwed in the head
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